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November 05 Too Much TogethernessThey say "absence makes the heart grow fonder." That may be true, but they also say "familiarity breeds contempt." That one I know to be true.
Since my husband's accident, he's been home all the time. The only respite I get are work and when he goes on his daily walks. Every time I turn around, he's hovering over my shoulder.
He hates to do anything on his own- he can't seem to do anything without recruiting some kind of company. He won't even go to see a movie that he really wants to see if he has to go by himself. Me- I've been to so many movies on my own that I've forgotten what it's like to whisper to the person sitting next to me.
He needs to cling. I need space. This seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
The best pre-husband boyfriend I ever had was a laid back medical student we'll call Daniel. When he went away on a spring break vacation with his friends, I didn't miss him or obscess over him. He bought me earrings while he was away. We picked up where we left off, dropping in and out of each other's lives. We got together when we could, and didn't get upset when the other had other plans. It was the most stress-free relationship I've ever been in.
The only unfortunate thing was that neither of us told each other how we really felt about our being a couple-was this something we could carry on indefinitely or was it just a short-term relationship? I loved him for being Daniel, but I never told him that.
Because neither one of us had told the other that we had penciled each other into our future lives, I drifted away. That was that-one day we were together and the next we were apart. We never talked about it or argued over it. It was what it was and we both accepted that.
And then I fucked up-literally. With my 20/20 hindsight, I think I would have drifted back to him if I hadn't accidently gotten pregnant by the now-husband. He came to my wedding reception, and I hugged and kissed him for the last time. Less than a year later, he was engaged to someone he met after I had gotten married. I wonder if that was true love or just a rebound.
Now that my familiarity with my husband is breeding contempt, is Daniel's absence making my heart fonder for him? Can't turn back time-although right now, I wish I could. TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://sharulatai.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!BAB83A7580810ED6!577.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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